“Now if I could just find someone who would make me happy,” she said like she was checking things off her to do list. The frustrated woman pulled me aside at the conference where I was speaking. She looked to be in her mid 40s, so I was shocked when she said, “Today I turn 35.”
“Happy Birthday,” I said wondering what I was going to hear next.
“Thanks so much. I really appreciate everything you had to say about relationships but I have a couple of questions if you have a minute,” she asked?
“Sure,” I said, hoping she would be brief putting my hand over my stomach to muffle the growling.
“Today I’m 35 years old. I have the house, I have the car, I have the job, and I have two kids. It seems I have everything. My third divorce was final 2 weeks ago. I am worn out and dragged down. I’m so glad to be free again. Now I know what I want in a husband. Do you have any suggestions where I can look,” she asked seriously.
I find myself in situations sometime when it would be totally inappropriate to roll my eyes and say, “Are you kidding me?” This one of them. Did she think my night job was a radio host on a call-in show?
“Wow,” I said slowly realizing she must have been texting or may have been in the bathroom during most of the session. “Do you want me to be real honest with you,” I asked?
“Of course,” she answered curtly.
“Assigning someone else to be in charge of your happiness is not fair to you or the other person. People are people and it’s guaranteed they will disappoint and let you down. So if you’re counting on someone else to make you happy, I’m sorry, it will never happen. Your contentment and happiness is your personal responsibility. If you’re not happy or content, you really can’t blame anyone else but yourself. People, places, and things are not the source of your happiness.”
“Oh,” she said obviously not hearing what she wanted to hear. “Well, thank you.” She turned and walked away. I wondered how long it would be until her fourth divorce would be final.
“... I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”