Sunday, February 28, 2010
Every once in a while I check to make sure “Talk to me” isn’t written on my forehead. I’m just trying to be kind when I ask, “How are you?” Some of the answers I get are stunning. I learned about a runaway wife at a Mc Donalds drive-thru window, an eviction notice in the grocery check-out, and ten years of hurt at the video rental store.
Once I asked the server at a coffee kiosk how her day had been. She relived her dreadful sounding day for five minutes before she took my order. I just listened nodding my head occasionally saying, “Oh, wow.” As she handed me coffee she sighed and said, “Sorry, but thanks so much for listening. I think I’ll go home and take a hot bath.”
I felt a bit like Lucy and her 5 cent Psychiatric help.
A lot of people are walking around up to their necks in hurt, deep, gut-wrenching hurt. Loss of a job, illness, a fractured family and on the list goes. Others confuse hurt feelings with serious hurt. With tears rolling down her cheeks, a woman told me how devastated she was because a good friend was having a party and she didn’t get an invitation. “I’m so hurt and disappointed. This is one of the most painful things ever,” she said as if she were a disaster survivor.
For real? If that’s at the top of her painful things list, she must not be married or have kids. I felt so sorry for her ... sort of. I thought about taking my shoe off and hitting her, but came back to reality before I said or did something stupid.
I’m not saying things like not getting an invitation don’t sting, because they do. But in the big picture, it’s hardly worth ruining your make-up over. People are people and they are going to disappoint and hurt. You will be waiting a long time if you’re depending on the people around you to make you happy. It’s just not going to happen. Besides your happiness is really not their responsibility.
Remember this; most of the time people step on your feelings without even realizing what they are doing. Get over yourself and don’t waste time wallowing in self-pity while the rest of the world is out having fun. I’m sure that’s what Lucy would say too.