I knew it was coming the minute I heard, “Suz, I have to get a new phone. Mine has reached retirement age.” Jim stays about 12 months ahead of me in phone years. It took me until recently to finally realize phones have a lifespan of a butterfly.

In reality his phone situation shouldn’t affect me, but it always does. It seems the phone companies double the price and offer a buy-one-get-one so you feel like you’re getting a sizzling deal. How can you pass it up? Last year I paid a penny for my phone when Jim’s old one went berserk and started chanting and spinning.

I was just getting comfortable with Blackberry. Granted, I had only learned a fraction of what he was capable of, but I could navigate what I needed. When the Verizon guy transferred all my stored information to the new phone, it was kind of like breaking up with someone I’d dated for a while. Now I have to get to know Droid. He’s really complex and challenging. I guess it’s like any relationship, it takes time and work.

In the middle of the basic instructions, which to me sounded like the blueprint for a jet engine, I said, “Oh I’m sure I can find what I need to know in the instruction book if I don’t catch it all now.”

All I got was a consoling grin and, “Well, Ma’am, it’s more of a pamphlet since most things are really basic knowledge.” Of course they are.

I have now figured out how to call, text and take pictures which is all I really wanted. It was very concerning when I clicked on the maps application and a red dot showed up like the “You Are Here” direction kiosk at the mall. I felt like the Verizon guy’s network of people might really be following me, ducking in behind trees and signs when I turned around.

The other day it surprised me when Droid started talking to me in the car. I was so impressed the GPS system was activating all by itself. But when I turned down the radio to listen to the commands, he started screaming Mom, Mom, MOM! I finally realized it wasn’t the GPS lady giving me directions, it was Jill. Who knows how that happened or how long she had been listening to me sing in the car.

Eventually I’ll understand Droid, more than likely, about the time Jim needs a new phone. Meanwhile, I’m bumbling along trying to figure out what I’m doing. Who am I trying to fool? I do that without a phone.

“Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance-”
Proverbs 1:5